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Age of the Fern

from [sic] by George Hrab

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lyrics

Age of the Fern

Once Upon a time before Madonna ruled the land
When dinosaurs where boppin' to a Mesozoic band
Before the mammals showed and things got out of hand
Yes it was the age of the fern

It was a time when bouncers didn’t card or judge your hair
The subways always ran on time and one would feel safe there
Athletes never went on strike and referees judged fair
'Cause it was the age of the fern

Lawyers could not foul things up ‘cause they were not around
No Shiites dumping toxic waste upon the holy ground
No police getting into high speed chases with James Brown
'Cause it was the age of the fern

Now the fern has kept its mouth shut
'Cause the sandal wearing morons
Are convinced that they have ESP
And regardless of the proof they see, on FOX TV, to me
Uri Geller still sound like a putz

The days when green was prevalent from sea to boiling sea
There was no bad cholesterol no fruity herbal tea
There were no telemarketing people calling me
'Cause it was the age of the fern

The Martians used our planet as a rest stop for their cars
They built up all the pyramids and used them for wet bars
Then they packed up all the little ones and shot back for the stars
'Ccause it was the age of the fern

BECAUSE OF THIS

The fern is said to know the secrets of both time and space
It doesn’t ever mention this ‘cause it feels out of place
It longs for the days before the human race
When it was the age of the fern

Now the fern has gotten a bad rap
‘Cause the stuff it sees on the idiot box
Isn’t worth the CO2 to talk about

And when Tilton humps the screen and says the lord is being mean
Our photosynthesizing friends would rather not say squat.
And save us the embarrassment while they just get ripped on Chlorophyll cocktails.

You realize this tale I tell is based up on the truth
It was told to me by someone who has never been uncouth
The story was recounted in between sips of vermouth
He told me all about the age of the fern

Now what the heck’s the point to all the stuff that’s in this song
I’ve only got one line left so I will not make it long
Perhaps some things were better then perhaps I am just wrong
Goodbye, fern ow!

credits

from [sic], released August 10, 1996
Words, music, and all noise, by George Hrab

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George Hrab Bethlehem, Pennsylvania

George Hrab is a multi-instrumentalist, singer, songwriter, story teller, science advocate, producer, composer, & vigilant defender of the Theory of Gravity. He’s produced seven studio albums, 800 plus podcasts, two books, one concert DVD and is determined to keep making more and more stuff everyday. ... more

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